


dig your way out

by headbuttingbears



Category: 10 Years (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 14:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12170913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headbuttingbears/pseuds/headbuttingbears
Summary: "You don't know me. Youknewme." | Nothing goes as expected.





	dig your way out

**Author's Note:**

> I have an inordinate amount of issues with this film, likely stemming from my anger that I cry over it every time I watch it. But lbr, there would be no happy ending for these two irl. Projecting who? Me? Nah.
> 
> Jenny should've told me not to write this, but when has she ever.

It doesn't last very long.

She's off his lap and out of the car before Reeves can even catch his breath or close his mouth. He rolls his head back against the seat, watches through the window as she pulls her skirt back down. Keeps tugging at it, her other arm wrapped around her middle. He can see her pale fingers where they press into her side. She doesn't turn around, just keeps fidgeting. Probably wants a smoke but her bag's back in the car with him.

After getting his jeans zipped back up, shirt rebuttoned, he opens the door on the side opposite her and turns, meaning to get out. Both feet on the asphalt, hand braced on the door, the weight of a decade's worth of hopes keeping him from getting up. Looks around, but it's too dark to see anything. To see if she has crumbs in the cup holder, if there's dog hair on the seats, if she has a novelty cover over the steering wheel or a glovebox that barely closes for all the stuff crammed in it. It's probably for the best that he can't see anything like that. He doesn't need anything new to obsess over. It's probably a rental anyway.

He grabs his jacket and climbs to his feet, closes the door with a definitive thump that echoes in the dark lot. Stands awkwardly next to it, looking across the roof of the car at the back of her head. Her hair's all dissheveled from how he'd run his fingers through it the way he'd imagined doing so many times as a teenager. He'd thought it would feel softer than any other woman's hair he'd felt, but it hadn't. Not really.

He tells himself that.  _Not really_.

"This was a mistake," Elise says. She isn't facing him when she says it the first time so he can pretend for two seconds that she doesn't mean it. But then she turns around, repeats herself, facing him but not managing more than small glances. Nervous, the way she used to get when she was delivering a presentation in class. Wishing she were anywhere else, not noticing – or not wanting to notice – how he never looks anywhere else. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Don't." After that opening line, he doesn't want to hear anything she might have to say. Smiles like maybe that'll make her change her mind. Never really worked before but- "Don't."

"I'm not- This isn't who I am," she says anyway, like she didn't hear him. "I'm not this person, I don't… My life isn't some episode of Jenny Jones, okay? Fucking some guy-"

Reeves winces. Never thought he had much of an ego, but  _some guy_  hurts. Especially coming from her, when all he'd tried to do was make it clear that he never thought of her as  _some girl_.

"-Who had a crush on me? That's not me. This isn't me." She looks at him now, straight on and defiant. "You don't know me. You  _knew_  me."

Jacket hanging limp in one hand, he rests his hand on the cold roof of the car, legs gone weak and trembling with nervous energy. "Elise, that's not-"

She ducks her head, mouth a firm line. "I'm sorry. I- This…" Shakes her head, hard, shoves her hair out of her face before she rounds the car to the driver's side - his side - and grabs the door handle.

 _This isn't how it was supposed to go_ , he wants to say.  _You were supposed to be happy. You were supposed to love me back._

"You think you know me, but-" she shakes her head again, once. Not as violently as before, more like she heard a fly buzz near. "I went to college. I have a degree, and a good job. I  _do_ a good job. I've been agent of the month three times in a row!"

He wants to say,  _I know, I know you have, I congratulated you every time, don't you remember?_  But he doesn't. Instead he feels the railroad spike of realization that she never cared the way he did. Does.

She's on a roll now, free hand coming up to wave defensively as she says, "I'm not who I was in high school! I-I have a boyfriend, and yeah, he's divorced, but he loves me, and I…" Her eyes flick up from where they'd been pinned to his chest, and he can feel the corners of his mouth twitch down at how she seems to peer inside his head for a here-and-gone moment before her grip tightens on the door handle and she says, "I love him." Quiet, but not quiet enough that he can pretend he didn't hear it.  _Him_. Not  _you_. Not the way he'd whispered it in her ear right before she'd climbed off him.

Reeves drops his hand from the car, steps forward and watches her inch back. First time all night, but there it is.

The door creaks when she hauls it open, slips inside the car before he can touch her, and she'd have the door closed if he hadn't grabbed the corner, stopped it swinging shut.

"Don't," he says. "Don't run again. Don't make the same mistake twice." Convinced despite everything she just said that she  _is_ making a mistake.

She closes her eyes, squeezes them shut tight. She'd kept them closed the whole time she'd been on top of him, he remembers. Only he'd had both eyes open, incapable of looking anywhere else once he'd finally had her in his arms the way he'd dreamed of for so long.

"I'm sorry," Elise says, knuckles looking brittle as she grips the steering wheel hard. "I didn't wait." When she tugs at the door he doesn't stop it this time, and he doesn't move as she backs out of the parking lot. Feels the soft breeze of the car backing away, only turning to watch the tail lights fade in the distance.

He's still standing there when Jake and Mary wander out of Pretzels, not holding hands but walking close, shoulders bumping the way they used to when they'd wander through the halls together, and they stop when they spot him. Don't jump apart; there's no guilt in either of their faces.

So nothing happened. At least two people managed to keep from ruining their lives, he thinks blandly. But then, they never were those kind of people. He remembers how back then, you could always rely on them to do the right thing. Does anyone else remember the way he does? Probably not. He might have a nostalgia problem.

"Hey, man, you okay?" Jake's easy smile has disappeared.

"Yeah, uh." Reeves rubs a hand over his mouth. Is there lipstick on his face? It's dark out, probably too dark to tell, and Elise never wore much anyway. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Mary trades a look with Jake before stepping forward. "A bunch of people are heading over to the diner, did you… do you want a lift? I'm sure Jake could-"

"No, I-" he clears his throat, hoping he doesn't sound as fucked up as he feels as he pulls his jacket on with clumsy hands. "I was just waiting for a cab. I don't know what happened." Goes to pull his phone out from his back pocket, but it's migrated. So busy thinking about  _before_ that he forgot how Elise had- Anyway, it's in his front pocket now, digging into his thigh. How could he forget? Taps it against his palm after pulling it out, casual as can be. "I'll just… call again."

"Elise leave already?" Mary asks, scanning the parking lot.

"Yeah, she, uh, she had an early start, I think. She said." He frowns, staring down at his phone for a moment before he remembers he's supposed to be dialing.

They both insist on waiting with him until the cab pulls up, and then of course they have to hug him before he gets in. Mary, taller as ever, leans down to give him a gentle squeeze and a light peck on the cheek where Elise had kissed him half an hour earlier. "Don't be a stranger," she says, and he knows it isn't just lip service coming from her.

"Alright," he says softly, and turns to Jake, a laugh surprised out of him when he's hoisted up off his feet in a bear hug. Privately amazed he can still laugh at all. "Augh!"

"Don't forget about us boring normal people, alright?" Jake says when he sets him down, clapping him on the shoulder.

"I won't." Has to repeat himself when Jake looks doubtful. "Really! You know I never forget anything. Besides, now I know who to come to if I ever need a mortgage."

"Yeah, yeah," Jake says, rolling his eyes as he slaps his shoulder again and lets him go, reaching around him to haul the cab door open. "Be good."

"Always try," he says, slipping in, letting Jake close the door for him, and he makes the mistake of looking back after naming his destination. They stand close together in the lot, wave at him at the same time, not much more than a raising of their hands but in time the way they'd used to be, and he waves back before he turns resolutely around. Settles against the pleather seat, elbow against the door as he rubs his finger against his lips. There's a flutter in his chest, something like panic, as he thinks he's in the wrong car.

_This isn't-_

"Seatbelt," says the driver, catching his eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Right." Drags it across his body, gets it locked in, before he slides down a little ways in the seat and stares out the window. Wipes his hand over his damp face and watches the lights flick by.


End file.
